Albert Einstein once said, “The most important question you can ever ask is whether or not the world is a friendly place.”
What he meant by that is, do you wake up in the morning expecting to have to fight? Do you believe that the world and those around you are trying to steal from you, cheat you, hurt you? That walls are necessary and you’re a sucker if you don’t strike first?
Or do you wake up expecting that, at its core, the world and the people who inhabit it are well-intentioned, kind, and that beauty, abundance and benevolence are the default conditions?
My mother passed away a couple of years ago at the age of 91. Throughout her life, Mom truly believed that the universe is a friendly place.
No, she KNEW, in the deepest recesses of her soul, that it is. And there’s a difference between belief and knowing. And because she knew that, her life was filled with joy and she always responded to the world in an equally friendly way.
To go back to Einstein, his work led to today’s understanding of quantum physics where scientists have discovered an amazing phenomenon: As we conduct experiments with the universe’s most minute particles, we discover that the results of those experiments actually depend on our expectations. Odd as it may seem, if a researcher expects one result, she gets it. If she expects something different, she gets that. Our thoughts and our intentions truly do create our reality.
Now although my Mom was endlessly curious, she did not study quantum physics and she wasn’t a student of New Age philosophy. But throughout her life, she expected good things to happen. And they did. She expected to be happy. And she was. She expected to have love in her life. And she did.
None of us can control the circumstance that surround and befall us. And those who try frequently end up angry and bitter. Or violent.
But in every moment we have the ability to choose how we respond to the circumstances that we encounter. My Mom always chose happiness. She always chose joy. And in the process of expecting joy, like those scientists, she influenced this grand experiment and experienced a life – a very long life – that was filled with happiness, peace, love and joy.
Getting back to Einstein once more, the further our scientists climb up the mountain of knowledge, the more they discover that the philosophers and gurus have been sitting there, waiting for them. And they tell us that the secret to happiness is not health, it’s not wealth, it’s not power, it’s not knowledge.
No, the secret to happiness is – happiness. Simply choosing, regardless of circumstances, to be happy.
My Mom was the Master of Happiness. In her prime she would revel about the sunshine, a blossom, a beautiful song. She would delight in a conversation. With anyone. About anything. She would be gleeful about a long trip. Or a short trip. About a meal, or a snack. About the day, or the night.
Even as her faculties began to cruelly abandon her, she chose wonder and joy. At the end she couldn’t remember what she’d had for breakfast, but every time you would share some news with her she’d always say, ‘I’m so pleased!’ And she meant it.
With her life, Mom answered Einstein’s question. I doubt she’d even think it was a question worth asking. With her life she showed us that the universe IS a beautiful, a wondrous, and indeed a very friendly place.
I was out for the regular early morning walk with my beautiful wife the other day. It was one of those perfect Georgia spring mornings – warm sunshine, blue sky, low humidity, birds singing and the magnolias beginning to blossom.
About halfway through the walk a man crossed our path. We called a ‘good morning!’ greeting and he came back with a huge smile and called out, “It’s a beautiful day in our neighborhood!” That made us both smile as we instantly recognized the reference from the beloved Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood TV show that brought delight and comfort to so many from the late, great Fred Rogers.
Our newly encountered friend obviously made the connection too as he quickly followed with, “Won’t you be my neighbor?,” which made us both giggle.
But then the judgmental, disapproving grown-up in him took over and he said, “Did I actually say that out loud?” and went on down the sidewalk.
Personally, I was both impressed and delighted that a 60-something man would come out with such a warm and friendly greeting to a pair of complete strangers. I didn’t find it strange, inappropriate or silly at all. Instead, I found it heart-warming and uplifting. Yet, his reaction showed that he was a little embarrassed by his spontaneous and joyful outburst.
Why do we judge ourselves harshly for being joyful?
Gail and I spend a lot of time in airports, and they provide some of the best people-watching opportunities around. When it comes to classifying those we observe, we have two favorites – the under-seven’s and the ‘Joyful Ones.’ Both are rare species.
The under-seven’s are those sparkly children who are so full of life and joy and wonder that they’re completely oblivious to those around them. They skip and jump and dance down the concourse, jiving to some happy music that the rest of us only wish we could hear. I watched one the other day who was practicing cartwheels in the boarding lounge! I laughed out loud with delight!
The Joyful Ones also make us feel great. These are the folks whose faces, body language and general vibe give away the fact that there’s something going on inside that has chosen to tune out the incessant CNN sadness blaring from the monitors. Could be an elderly couple holding hands as they make their way to their connecting gate. Could be a person walking alone, but with an unconscious smile on her face. Or a couple of businessmen, laughing as they share a joke.
Why does a grown man feel embarrassed by calling out a joyful greeting? Why do I never see anyone over seven practicing cartwheels in a boarding lounge? Why do I have to look so hard to find someone who is actually smiling? Why do we feel so self-conscious about being spontaneous and joyful?
It’s easy to claim that it’s hard (even foolish?) to be joyful when the world is such a dreadful place. How can anyone be joyful in the face of terrorism, climate change, raging partisanship and uncertain economies? It’s easy to quote Thomas Hobbes who claimed that life is “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”
Well, Tom was just plain wrong because the basis of life is joy. But you have to choose it. In every moment we must consciously, courageously choose to stand out from the crowd and be joyful.
So here’s your challenge on this Fearless Friday: Smile. When you walk down the street, think about something that makes you happy and see what happens to your face. Think about someone you love and feel your mouth start to turn upwards. Think about a time when you accomplished a big goal and feel that pride swelling in your chest.
I’m not asking for cartwheels in the boarding lounge, but I’d love to count you among the Joyful Ones today.