Yes, men suffer anxiety too. We’re just not supposed to talk about it.
We’re exposed 24/7 to all the horrendous things that we should be worried about – health, finances, erectile dysfunction, job security, relationships, aging, climate change, hair loss, terrorism… it’s a really long list!
But as boys growing up we’re also handed the list of things in life that we’re supposed to be responsible for: Provide for your family, protect women and children, always be strong, look and earn like Brad Pitt or Dwayne Johnson, know how to fix anything… it’s also a really long list.
But here’s the catch – ya gotta do all this while never breaking a sweat or letting on that you’re the least bit frightened. Be the strong one for everybody else. Don’t display weakness. And for heaven’s sake, don’t go asking for help.
So, guys, how’s this working out for us?
Fortunately, most men don’t resort to such extreme measures. But even the less radical methods of coping can be damaging to men and those close to them. Studies have found that about one in five men will suffer some anxiety disorder during their lifetime. But psychologists suspect that those numbers are underreported cuz we’re not supposed to talk about it.
Kinda like “jumbo shrimp” or “act naturally,” masculine anxiety almost seems like an oxymoron. But the old myth that men are, or should be, macho, testosterone-driven super-heroes has caused more violence and grief than we can imagine.
Psychologists tell us that, at the root of all these destructive behaviors, is fear. And fear shows up as anger, hate, anxiety, aggressiveness, violence and guilt. How, then, do we rid ourselves of fear, anxiety and self-doubt?
And no, the answer isn’t to just rub some dirt on it!
The real answer is a two-step process.
Step one is to embrace an enlightened, healthier and more balanced view of masculinity. Let’s call it Manhood 2.0 and decide that it should hang on to the best aspects of traditional manhood, let the toxic ones go, and add a number of vital new traits such as vulnerability and emotional intelligence.
But how do we get past the entrenched ego-response that wants to resist any threat to the strong macho image?
The secret is to use traditional masculinity to debunk traditional masculinity stereotypes.
No man wants to be duped. Which is precisely what the old machismo has been doing to us. Men love to believe themselves to be logical and rational. How can you look at the statistics I’ve referenced above and draw any kind of logical conclusion that traditional masculinity is serving us or those we love, well? The fact is that, by any yardstick, old-school manliness is failing us miserably. Traditional masculinity is a scam and no man is willing to put up with being scammed.
Step two is to make the decision to let fear go. While that sounds too easy to be true, it can be done.
Barring some form of genuine mental illness, worry and anxiety are mental choices that we make. Some external circumstance occurs and we choose to let it frighten or worry us. The proof that it’s a choice lies in the fact that plenty of other people, faced with the same circumstances, don’t become frightened or anxious. They make a different choice. We, however, have been choosing to be frightened or anxious.
To be fair, the vast majority of people are making the same choice. And the world around us reinforces that choice 24/7. We’re told that we’re supposed to worry and that anxiety is normal and natural. Because we’ve been trained and conditioned to be fearful, it has become a mental choice. We’ve been practicing this choice for so long that it’s become a habit and a belief.
Again, let’s use traditional masculinity to debunk traditional masculinity stereotypes.
Most men don’t like being told what to do. We prefer to see ourselves as independent thinkers who make our own decisions. Then why have we, and why do we continue to think in the way we’ve been instructed to think, after we’ve proven that that thought process doesn’t serve us in the least?
As with any ingrained habit, it takes time and practice to replace the fear reaction with something that’s more useful. But the point is, you can stop worrying. And when you do, your life, and the lives of those close to you, the lives of those you’re responsible for, will be infinitely better.
I am so optimistic that the world, and the majority of men in it, are gradually coming to recognize the massive flaws in traditional masculinity. Far too much anger, aggressiveness, violence and pain have come from it. Now, increasingly, conversations about vulnerability, mindfulness, emotional intelligence and other Masculinity 2.0 topics aren’t just in the media, they’re becoming part of casual conversations.
If you worry too much, or if there’s a man in your life who worries too much, please get in touch with me. I can help you make a different choice.
What if your fairy godmother came to visit, waved her wand and removed your ability to be afraid of anything?
Now before we go too far and start messing with the rules, let’s be clear – she isn’t the genie that gives you three wishes, so this is all you get. And she didn’t even ask if that’s what you actually wanted. She didn't make you rich. She didn't make you look like Dwayne Johnson or Jennifer Lopez. She didn't give you an IQ of 160. She didn't guarantee that everything you try will always work out.
She just showed up, and Wham! You’re not afraid anymore. Of anything.
What would you do?
We all have a list of things we’d love to do, “If only I weren’t afraid of…” “If only I weren’t scared to…” That’s the worst thing about anxiety and worry – they hold us back from living the lives we dream about. They put the brakes on our potential and limit what we can and do become.
One college professor asked his students to list the things they’d do, if only they weren’t afraid. Here’s a selection from the list they compiled:
Every one of these wishes is a description of someone’s dream life from which they’re being held back.
When you and I look at that list, it’s easy for us to say, “Go ahead, turn the lights out! There are no boogeymen hiding under your bed!” And yet, for that person who doesn’t have the nerve to sleep with the lights off, the fear is an insurmountable barrier.
Imagine what their lives could be like if they could make that fear go away. Imagine what your life could be like if you could make the fear go away! There are so many things that we fail to even consider, let alone try.
Where’s that fairy godmother when you need her?
The bad news is, there’s no such person. The good news is, you don’t need one. Because the truth is that, when it comes to removing your fears, you are your own fairy godmother.
Let’s reference another fictional character. I’m sure you remember when Glinda, the Good Witch of the South in the Wizard of Oz, said to Dorothy, “You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself.”
Fiction always mirrors real life. And in your own real life, you have the magic wand in your hand.
You see, anxiety is a decision we make. It isn’t some external, objective reality that can’t be changed. We’ve simply made the decision to be scared, afraid, intimidated and fearful so often, that it’s become a habit. Keep a habit long enough and it becomes a belief that rules your life, dictating what you will and won’t try, what you can and can’t do.
But for every fear that holds you and I back, there are thousands, even millions of people who decided, in the face of the same fear, to do it anyway. Sometimes unpleasant things happened. Most often, they didn’t. When, in spite of circumstances, those people keep making the decision to not be afraid, they eventually find their way to the goal they’ve been seeking.
And now they’re reaping the rewards.
We started this blog by asking a “what if..” question. So finish by asking another one.
What if you made a new, and different decision? What if you decided that you simply weren’t going to be afraid anymore? What if you decided that you’re simply going to try the things you’ve been dreaming about?
Here’s what going to go down: Some bad things might happen. They probably won’t. If they do, you’ll find a way around and through them. As you find your way around and through those obstacles, you’ll learn and grow and experience the glorious adventure that life can be.
And then you’ll reap the rewards.
Yes, there is a post-anxiety life waiting for you. And it’s worth the decision.
Yes, it really is that simple. You only need to wave your wand and make the decision that you won’t be afraid anymore.
Now what are you going to do?
Do you remember when you were a kid, how much fun it was to play “Pretend?”
On any given afternoon you might have been a princess, a pirate, an astronaut or Wonder Woman. With some imaginative and adaptive costuming, we became convinced that we’d been transformed into a different person. We could fly, see through walls and travel to distant planets without effort.
How many kids, playing backyard football, shout out, “I’m Tom Brady!” as they go to throw a pass?
Actors and actresses, also, are constantly “pretending” to be the person they are portraying in the movie or play. In the minds of those actors who are regularly recognized as being at the top of their fields they actually become that character.
Whether we’re a child playing pirate or an actor playing Hamlet, in that moment we’ve been transformed into someone else. And with that transformation come all the skills and powers and traits of the person we’re pretending to be. The kid who pretends he’s Tom Brady will actually throw the football farther and more accurately than when he’s just being himself.
In the process of moving from fear and anxiety to fearlessness, playing “pretend” as a grown-up can help you get used to the new (and initially uncomfortable) mental state you’re trying to nurture.
In this process it’s important to have role models who can show us how it’s done. They demonstrate the behavior we admire and give us the “moves” that we can imitate. So, on your way to your own brand of fearlessness, who do you look up to? Who do you admire and seek to emulate? Who are your heroes?
If they really are your hero, you’ve watched them in action. You know how they behave. You even have an idea of how they think and react in different circumstances. All that’s left is for you to pretend to be them for an hour.
Of course, pretending to be Serena Williams for an hour today won’t put you on the center court at Wimbledon tomorrow. But pretending to be her for an hour again tomorrow, and the next day will be moving you in the right direction. Which is exactly how she, and all the other greats we admire got to where they are. They found a hero and modeled their thinking and behavior.
Oprah’s hero is Maya Angelou. Richard Branson admired Steve Jobs. Elon Musk looks up to Kanye West. He says that “Kanye's belief in himself and his incredible tenacity got him to where he is today. He's not afraid of being judged or ridiculed in the process.”
When you study your heroes, focus on learning how they think. If they’ve passed on, study them and read their biographies. If they’re alive, follow them on social, read whatever you can about them. Watch them and learn how they think, process information and make decisions.
Then try it for yourself. Pretend to be fearless like your hero for an hour. Yes, it’s going to be uncomfortable. So only do it for an hour. Then go back to the comfort of being yourself. But do it again for an hour each day this week, and two hours the week after. It will get easier and you’ll be more and more convinced about the charade.
When you pretend this new mental state often enough and long enough, you’ll get more and more comfortable in the role till eventually you won’t be pretending any more. You’ll have become genuinely fearless.
In my own life, as I realized that anxiety was an obstacle to my dreams, I learned to watch and imitate the people who I could see were behaving fearlessly. They were the ones who weren’t swayed by the opinions of others, tried the scary things, got back up after being knocked down. It was obvious that I needed to watch these folks because they were accomplishing the ambitions I had for myself.
The more I watched them, though, the more I realized that, in spite of appearances, fearlessness hadn’t come naturally for them either. Turns out that many of those who appear to be naturally courageous, have had to learn, study and practice the art of fearlessness before they were able to master it.
And that’s the key to success for the rest of us.
You’ve heard the term, “Fake it till you make it?” Well it turns out that if we find a hero with the courage we admire, then observe them, learn from them, and follow them around, we can start to imitate them. And the more we observe and imitate, the more comfortable we become with the same skills, same habits and same behaviors as they have.
I’ve been watching these rare Masters for more than a dozen years now and worked hard to make a habit of doing what they do. And I’ve found that, when I imitate these masters, I get the same results, the same satisfaction, rewards and joy that they do.
I’ve set some very big, very ambitious goals for myself.
In fact, most of the goals I’ve set for myself easily fall into the category of BHAGs. You may have heard this term – BHAG. It was coined by author Jim Collins in his ground-breaking book, Built to Last, and stands for Big Hairy Audacious Goal.
A BHAG isn’t just any old goal – lose 20 pounds, clean out the garage, organize your photo library. No, a BHAG is huge and daunting. A BHAG is President Kennedy in May of 1961 declaring, “this Nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to earth.” At the time, the most optimistic scientific estimates of success gave it a fifty-fifty chance. Many experts didn’t think it was possible at all.
Given the odds, such a bold commitment was nothing short of outrageous.
Which is an appropriate word to describe the BHAG I’ve set for myself: Help 10 million people completely eliminate fear and anxiety from their lives.
Like I said, outrageous.
At this time, the most optimistic scientific estimates of success gave it zero chance. Every expert doesn’t think it possible at all. Which, of course, only adds fuel to my fire.
Setting the goal is the easy part. Achieving it is another thing altogether because BHAGs are REALLY HARD. Any BHAG worth the label is going to require a great deal of concentrated time and effort and it’s so easy to find a million reasons and ways to avoid or postpone the real work.
However, instead of calling them “reasons,” let’s call them what they are – excuses.
I have committed to posting a video-a-day on the i-fearless YouTube channel. Each one is five to seven minutes long and takes that time, plus about twice that to edit. I’m learning so many creative ways to convince myself that I simply don’t have those 25 minutes. It’s too noisy. The lighting isn’t right. My head isn’t into it right now. I’ve already got three that are ready to go, so I don’t need to think about that today…
I have committed to posting a weekly blog (just like this one) every Friday and sending it out to my growing list of email subscribers. This takes a little longer – maybe three or four hours. There are countless obstacles that get in the way of that weekly task. It can’t possibly be done in several shorter time periods – the writing won’t be good enough. I got caught up in some family to-do items and it’s not my fault that I couldn’t find time. My readers won’t even notice if I miss a week…
I have committed to building a thriving and highly engaged Facebook Group – Fearless Living and Growth Society, which requires daily postings, comments and interactions. I should also be doing Facebook Live events regularly. But the lighting isn’t right, it’s too noisy, there aren’t enough people going to participate, I’m too busy writing the blog…
I’m committed to building a strong following on social media so I can provide the inspiration, tools and resources people need to overcome their own anxieties. But that requires investing in ads with money that’s hard to come by…
I’ve committed to recruiting mental health professionals, life coaches and other wellness experts to help me teach and spread the techniques that allowed me to remove fear and anxiety from my own life. But they’re all busy, COVID-19 has made it hard to network, getting their attention takes time, resources and creativity…
In their moments, every one of these roadblocks is a legitimate obstacle to accomplishing the BHAG that I’ve set for myself. So any failure to achieve it certainly won’t be my fault. I’ll be able to point to hundreds of genuine reasons why it didn’t happen. I’m even making a list of people to blame when I have to admit defeat.
But the truth is that there are no legitimate obstacles, there are only excuses. If I choose to see them as dead-end roadblocks, I’m finished. If, instead, I choose to see them as challenges, against which I measure the kind of stuff I’m made of, they become a game to be played and won. What I lack in resources I can make up for in resourcefulness.
When I look myself in the mirror and ask why I’m allowing this BHAG to get the better of me, I’m forced to admit that sometimes I’m a little intimidated by it and sometimes I’m just feeling lazy. Neither of these conditions serve me. Neither of these conditions take me closer to achieving this audacious and, in my view, entirely worthwhile goal.
Imagine a world that is completely free of anxiety. Imagine waking up every day knowing that you are fully capable of successfully taking on any challenge that arises. Imagine sleeping like a baby every night.
That’s why this goal is worth the effort.
On September 12, 1962, President John F. Kennedy spoke to a crowd in the stadium at Rice University in Houston. Regarding the BHAG he’d set for the nation he said, “We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win.”
What excuses are you using to avoid progress on your BHAG?
There are four great reasons to rid your life of anxiety and worry.
1. It just feels awful
It sucks to be anxious all the time. In fact worry is one of the most unpleasant emotions that we experience as humans. It saps our energy, our strength and our motivation and there’s a powerlessness that seems to take over, preventing us from taking positive, constructive action. Anxiety comes with its own kind of psychic suffering that can (and does) immobilize you.
2. It accomplishes nothing
Worry contributes absolutely nothing to your life, to the lives of those around you or to the world. It has never improved any situation or solved any problem. While there are some who might fool themselves into believing that their worry will lead them to a solution to whatever perceived threat is hanging over their heads in the moment, it’s never true.
3. It blocks your potential
With every new bogeyman, we dream less, we hesitate more and the sphere of our infinite potential shrinks. Our potential and performance as human beings is stifled and we back away from the great things of which our unbridled imaginations are capable. Worries are constraining, restricting, limiting. In the face of them we believe less, try less and become less. They cause us to set limits for ourselves before we’ve even tried.
But the reason I want to focus on today is…
4. It makes you sick
It’s been more than well documented that stress, worry and anxiety are injurious to your health. From skin conditions and irritability to high blood pressure, ulcers and heart attacks, constant worry simply isn’t good for you.
The Mayo Clinic reports that anxiety can result in restlessness, panic attacks, increased heart rate, hyperventilation, sweating, trembling, feeling weak or tired, trouble concentrating and gastrointestinal problems. Healthline adds depression, headaches, irritability, heart palpitations, muscle aches and loss of sex drive as resulting from worry.
Are we having fun yet?
You’ve also likely heard of the hormone Cortisol. Often referred to as “the stress hormone,” it’s produced by your adrenal glands and can be thought of your built-in alarm system. One of its primary roles is to help fuel your body’s “fight-or-flight” instinct in a crisis situation. Whenever cortisol is produced, your body goes on high alert, muscles tighten, breathing increases, heart rate goes up and you’re ready to take on whatever might be threatening you.
Obviously, like the city fire department, it’s an extremely useful resource and we wouldn’t want to be without it. But, also like the fire department, the best days are the ones in which we don’t need to call on it.
Cortisol and the fire department are both designed to respond to emergencies. The nature of an emergency is that it doesn’t last too long. We respond to the crisis, solve the problem and then go back to living our normal lives.
But if your body’s “code red” status lasts too long, if worry and anxiety become chronic, some nasty things begin to happen. Too much cortisol compromises your immune system, making you more susceptible to disease. Relationships have been found between cortisol and diabetes, osteoporosis, and heart disease.
More recently it’s also been discovered that too much reliance on cortisol can also take an early toll on your ability to think.
A study published in 2018 in Neurology found that responding to everyday challenges with worry and anxiety, and the resultant release of cortisol, can have negative impacts on the brain by the time we reach early middle age. The study of more than 2,000 people, most in their 40s, learned that those with the highest levels of cortisol performed worse on tests of memory, organization, visual perception and attention.
The study also discovered that higher cortisol levels are connected with physical changes in the brain. In fact, the total volume of certain regions of the brain actually shrinks. This is often seen as a precursor to Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. This connection is reinforced by other research that has shown that weaker-than-average performance on these types of tests can indicate a higher risk of dementia in later life. The link between high stress and anxiety and dementia is becoming clearer.
The study indicated that these effects seem to be most evident in women. But it’s uncertain whether middle-aged women are under more stress than men or simply have higher cortisol levels as a result of the same levels of stress.
So what should you do about it?
The last thing I want you to get stressed about is stress. So at the risk of sounding cheeky, don’t worry about it!
Dr. Sudha Seshadri, the lead researcher on the study says, “An important message to myself and others is that when challenges come our way, getting frustrated is very counterproductive.” She also says that other research has shown cortisol levels can be reduced with adequate sleep, exercise, socializing and relaxing mental activities such as meditation. Other research shows that some fairly simple activity and lifestyle changes (such as those we show you here at i-fearless) have been shown to change these levels.
Bruce McEwen is a neuroscientist and cortisol expert at The Rockefeller University. He was not part of the study but says other research suggests it is never too late to adopt a healthier lifestyle. He says that the brain does have the capacity for repairing and steps like reducing stress, exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet, getting enough good-quality sleep and finding meaning in one’s life can aid in that repair.
Of course, that’s what i-fearless is all about – showing you strategies and tactics that can help you reduce and even eliminate worry and anxiety from your life. Because life is too precious and offers too much opportunity for joy to be spent worrying.
I always enjoy learning new things. And on the way to acquiring a new skill, one of the most effective techniques is to be able to watch someone else who has already accomplished what I’m attempting to do. On our journey from anxiety to fearlessness it’s both instructive and inspiring to see someone else demonstrate fearlessness for us.
The power of a real, live example is in our ability to point to it, see it in action. We can say, “There! See that?! That’s what living fearlessly looks like! Now I’m going to try it.” In that way we’re able to set a new standard for ourselves. Watching someone else live out the example has a reality about it that is so much more powerful than vague or hypothetical situations.
Let’s look at two examples of fearless living that aren’t the least bit vague or hypothetical. They are both extremely real and very translatable into our own efforts to move from anxiety to fearlessness.
At the recent Democratic National Convention, which was held virtually because of the pandemic, every politician, lobbyist, actor and professional speaker was completely upstaged by a 13-year-old boy from New Hampshire named Brayden Harrington.
Speaking from the safe space of his own bedroom, Brayden told how he and Presidential contender Joe Biden are “members of the same club. We s……. st…… stutt…… stutter.”
As he went to pronounce the word “stutter,” the sound got stuck and just wouldn’t come out. You could see the effort, the determination and the shear fortitude that he summoned to carry on. And in a speech that lasted less than two minutes, this young man demonstrated a courage that left those of us watching in complete awe. Witnessing him struggle with his disfluency, knowing that he was being watched by millions of people, was a masterclass in facing a very real fear and making the decision to not let it hold him back.
As his address went on, Brayden encountered additional words that challenged his uncooperative vocal patterns. But in every case, he carried on. As I put myself in his place I could feel, in the pit of my stomach, the overwhelming temptation to dive for the safety of the covers of his bed that was mere feet away. But again and again, he made the choice to confront any fears, any self-consciousness, and declare that he would not allow them to limit him.
This demonstration of courage had nothing to do with politics. The boy won’t even be able to vote for another five years. The only dog he has in the hunt is his own determination to move beyond the kind of obstacle that so many of the rest of us declare as insurmountable.
I’ve lived five times as long as Brayden so far, but he just schooled me in living fearlessly.
Chelsie Hill was born to dance. In classes at the age of three, she was competing at regional and national events when she was five. As a 17-year-old high school senior she was involved in a drunk driving accident that left her with irreversible spinal cord damage and unable to walk.
During her recovery, Chelsie made the decision that she would not let her injuries and disabilities interrupt her dreams of being a professional dancer. She moved to Los Angeles to study dance and found herself the only wheelchair dancer in the class.
In 2012 she formed the Rollettes, a wheelchair dance team that has appeared on national media including Ellen, the Today Show, the Hallmark Channel and Access Daily as well as others. The group empowers women with disabilities to live boundlessly (and fearlessly) and shifts perspectives on disability through dance.
Nor has Chelsie stopped with wheelchair dancing. She is a speaker and advocate against drunk and distracted driving. She has her own line of jeans designed specifically for women with disabilities and unique body types. And in 2017 she partnered with Tommy Hilfiger and later Amazon for release of their adaptive clothing line.
Two very different people. Two very different challenges.
In both cases it’s easy to feel and empathize with the crushing fear that these two no doubt felt. And yet they made the decision to power through it, knowing that staying on the small side of that fear would result in a life lived from a place of timidity and cowering. But to confront that fear, to understand that it exists only in our minds, and to decide that it will no longer control us, will result in a life without limits.
I like to surround myself with people who inspire and instruct me to raise my own bar. When I watch them in action, see how they respond to challenging situations. I like to have their examples to imitate.
Brayden Harrington and Chelsie Hill are just two of the countless people who can teach the rest of us what it’s like to overcome anxiety, leave apprehension in the dust behind you and live fearlessly. I, for one, want to watch very closely, take careful notes and do my best to follow the examples.
A couple of years ago I enjoyed a fascinating day in Mountain View, California, as my wife Gail and I attended the annual shareholders meeting of Tesla, the electric car company founded by billionaire entrepreneur, Elon Musk. (Full disclosure: Gail was the smart one investing in Tesla. I was just arm candy.)
The business portion of the meeting lasted no more than five minutes. The interesting part, about four hours as the multi-talented Mr. Musk told stories about the early days of Tesla, the big ideas, the failed experiments, the almost-went-bankrupt nail-biters and the incredibly successful phenomenon that continues to unfold as this still-new company rewrites the rules on personal transportation.
Turns out that Elon is a truly terribly public speaker, a reasonably talented engineer and a stunningly brilliant visionary. And there’s the key. In story after story he told us that he could see the end results in his mind’s eye. He readily admitted that, at many points he didn’t have a clue as to HOW he would actually get to that end result, but he didn’t for a moment doubt that he would.
I love reading about and speaking with successful people. And the one thing they all have in common is the ability to visualize the goal they are heading towards.
For example, I recently read a great book* by Daymond John, the entrepreneur founder of the FUBU clothing line and multimillionaire member of the team of Sharks on the popular TV reality show, Shark Tank. The book highlights both his own experience and that of a number of other successful entrepreneurs as they founded and built their companies. And in every case, the driving force was the clarity of the vision they each had for what they wanted to accomplish.
So, when you look out into your future, what do you see? Can you describe a detailed picture of where you’ll be and what you’ll be doing? What goals will you be working to achieve? Who will you be serving? Can you visualize this day three years from now?
Notice that I’m using words that all talk about vision, pictures and seeing. The reason this is so important is that it forces you to have tremendous clarity about your goals. If they’re the least bit vague or clouded, the likelihood that you’ll achieve them falls off rapidly.
So when you think about your life 36 months, 1,080 days from today, what color will the walls be? What window will you be looking out? Who will you be calling, visiting? Who will you include in your circle of influence? What will your bank statement say? How will this picture be different from the one you see today?
Like Elon Musk, you might not have a clue about how you’re going to get there. But that’s not nearly as important as knowing where you want to get to. You’ll figure it out, bit by bit, along the way.
When you drive at night, the headlights on your car illuminate only the few hundred feet in front of you. But you can drive from Seattle to Miami seeing only that much at a time. You don’t need to see the whole route, but you do need to see Miami in your mind.
Daymond John makes a great comment near the end of his book that is going to stick with me: “You can’t hit a target that you can’t see.”
What does your target look like?
* ‘The Power of Broke: How Empty Pockets, a Tight Budget, and a Hunger for Success Can Become Your Greatest Competitive Advantage